It was 11 pm, a beam of light caught my attention. I went closer and I witnessed my tea light candle last flame. It desired to say good-bye.
“Understanding is the first step to acceptance,
and only with acceptance can there be recovery.”
I don’t understand why my mind can turn things upside down, can create memories and erase others. Exactly one week ago I had to make a split second decision, I was in lots of pain, I couldn’t think straight so my husband and son decided for me. I don’t want to go into details right now, I’m still processing the situation, but what I want to say here is that since a week ago I’m fighting with myself because I was weaker, I let go of my body and my will.
Yesterday my co-worker said that these feelings are part of the TRAUMA, takes time but eventually will go away. This word stayed in my mind, Trauma! I thought, it can’t be! I wasn’t in a car accident, I wasn’t raped … those things are the ones that cause trauma.
I did lots of reading last night about Trauma, and yes, it fits perfectly to my situation.
The process of recovery is long, and acceptance and understanding are part of it. So I’m journaling and journaling, trying to find answers between the lines.
Have a lovely Thursday!
Sharing with Nurturing Thursday