Starting a new life
Precious moments are always remembered
Resilience
Instigated by curiosity
Never look back
Give yourself a chance
Sun, sea, and sand
Unforgettable moments
Memories of freedom
Memories of joy
Excitation and whispers
Recreating dreams
Falling
Apart, melancholy
Letting go of the faith
Leading you to the abysm
Wonderland
Investing in yourself
Never gives up
The transition is short
Eternal hope
Releasing guilt
Thanksgiving weekend in Canada. My dad passed away a few days ago. I feel alone, part of me is gone. My mother passed away in 2011, now I’ve no parents, it’s a feeling of abandonment. It seems I was walking on a tightrope with each one of them holding one of my hands. I still had my father holding me when my mother left, so I kept the balance, he wouldn’t let me fall. Now, my hands are free and I need to keep the balance by myself. As I write this I’m thinking maybe I was the one who abandoned him, I could have done more for him, I could have been more present, I could have done this and that.
Grief and guilt for sure walk hand in hand. The what ifs which have followed all my life get stronger at this time. I’m constantly journaling and meditating, trying to understand each step of the grieving process. At some moments the pain hits hard but most of the time I’m calm, trying to observe my feelings from a distance instead of diving deeper into them.
Is there something to give thanks? Yes, I have many things to be thankful for. This year in particular my thanks go to my parents, for their love, strength, honesty, dignity, values, their simplicity and smile, how they always put us kids in the first place and did everything possible and sometimes the impossible to help us to grow and thrive in this world.
They left us (3 kids, 4 grandkids, 2 grand grandkids) with many material treasures, but the most important of all are the memories which we will keep forever and hopefully pass through many generations.
Thank you for being here with me and I hope you have something to give thanks today!
It is a cloudy day, raining coming and going. Silence. I’m in the living room looking through the window, trying to find words, organizing my thoughts.
I baked a cake and read a few pages. My thoughts are coming and going as the rain. I don’t have stillness; I need someone, something.
I open my laptop, my blog, and jump to the reader. Sadje’s question pops up: Is anything missing from your life?
Myself!
I don’t have doubts, my answer is: I miss myself.
I miss the years which went by so fast, I miss the opportunities I didn’t take, I miss the time I could have spent close to the people I loved, I miss the past. I got lost on the journey. I miss myself, the true-self who is masked by a pretense of being a daughter, wife, mother, employee …, many layers hiding myself.
Who am I when I’m disrobed of all the titles above?
Hello my friends, I hope you are enjoying the new season. Autumn started yesterday here in Canada. I’m so glad it was a Sunday and I could sleep in and I had a delicious breakfast which included pumpkin pie and my homemade plum jam. I also decorated the table with a white pumpkin, it is a tradition for me, every year I buy 3 white pumpkins, I keep them on one of my windowsills during the season. I had a wonderful creamy coffee in my pumpkin mug.
The weekend was beautiful, surprising warm for this time of year and wonderful for going out and taking photos.
These are a few shots from the weekend.
Well, a new week is starting, I hope to keep the weekend vibes with me, I know it is impossible, but I’ll try my best.
Have a great new season!
The suitcases are long packed with memories. I’m waiting. The leather is as wrinkled as my skin. Scars of the time. I wait as the years turn into days, the days into hours and hours into minutes. The hurry from the youth stealing my balance, my breath going away. I wait for …
Hello everyone, long time since I showed up here. I thought it was time to catch up.
Spring and summer went by in a hurry. It feels like yesterday when the first blooms were starting to show up in my garden. I’m writing this post and looking at the yellow leaves on the ground. Yes, Autumn is coming with all the coziness and beautiful colours of the season.
I wish my creativity and inspiration get a booster as well. I haven’t done much in the last few months, all my projects were put on hold. It was like taking a break from myself and focusing on work and family. I miss my ‘me time’ and just realized I also miss myself.
Missing myself, it’s such an interesting feeling. I feel disconnected from my values, simplicity and joy. I didn’t journal, run, or go out with my camera in the summer. These are the stuff I’m missing; the time and the fun of doing something just for me.
I have been reading a lot, 36 books only this year, but it’s an intake of information. While reading I’m not producing anything, I’m not creating, or expressing myself.
Last weekend I went out, I left my cocoon and wandered around the neighbourhood with my camera. It was nice to connect to nature and with myself.
I hope you are doing well and enjoying the change of the seasons.
On my kitchen table this morning:
Wishing a peaceful Sunday to you!
crisp air baths my skin
lady spring dressed in lightness
refreshes my body
at the end of a long day
the breeze brings dreams full of hope
it's easy to say
not so easy to do
advice, everybody has one
but the recipe is a secret
nobody knows where it is
free your mind
i imagine, it will need
2 cups of forgiveness
2 cups of compassion
1 cup of kindness
1 teaspoon of joy
mix everything together
bake for 1/2 hr at 375 F
oh, i forgot the most
important, the baking powder
for this recipe it'd be self-love
without it
no mind will be free
Joining WDYS
Tea & Paper 