I can’t believe the last month of the year is here! 2025 could be described as ‘hurry’. Too much to do and so little time, the months started and ended with such haste.
We had our first snowfall of the season over the weekend. It’s pretty out there, all white, and the stillness that comes with it urges me to slow down and ponder what it is worth to me right now. To keep up with the hurry and let this month go by as quickly as the others, or to slow down and enjoy each moment?
Twinkle lights, a hot drink, books, blogging, writing … all the goodness winter has to offer. Yes, it’s time to go inwards and take care of myself.
Happy winter to you!
“Winter knows to hush, still, listen, so the soul can speak” Angie Wayland-Crosby
a moment of breath colourful, flowing with joy stillness in the air
October has been a month loaded with challenges for me. Too much to do and so little time as the days get shorter. Hurry and hurry from home to my workplace, and vice versa. Instead of prioritizing my needs, I let them go to open space for everything and everybody else. I’m not young anymore, and in the end, my body pays the price for all the hurry/stress I inflict on myself.
I need to slow down and set up priorities. My mind and body need care, and I’m the only one able to provide it to myself.
Wishing a week full of tiny pockets of joy to you!
Fall colours are popping up around here, starting with the golden sunlight in the early morning and late afternoon. I saw these sunflowers at the grocery store last week. They have the most exquisite colours, and I couldn’t resist; I brought them home.
Pumpkin spice is my fave taste this time of the year, everything, from lattes to candles. Cinnamon, apple pies… delicious, and delicious.
And of course, cozy up with a great story. I got these three books for September. Strong women’s characters are always my to go when choosing a book.
Little things here and there, trying to focus on the positive.
“There is a harmony in autumn, and a lustre in its sky, which through the summer is not heard or seen, as if it could not be, as if it had not been!”
Thanksgiving weekend in Canada. My dad passed away a few days ago. I feel alone, part of me is gone. My mother passed away in 2011, now I’ve no parents, it’s a feeling of abandonment. It seems I was walking on a tightrope with each one of them holding one of my hands. I still had my father holding me when my mother left, so I kept the balance, he wouldn’t let me fall. Now, my hands are free and I need to keep the balance by myself. As I write this I’m thinking maybe I was the one who abandoned him, I could have done more for him, I could have been more present, I could have done this and that.
Grief and guilt for sure walk hand in hand. The what ifs which have followed all my life get stronger at this time. I’m constantly journaling and meditating, trying to understand each step of the grieving process. At some moments the pain hits hard but most of the time I’m calm, trying to observe my feelings from a distance instead of diving deeper into them.
Is there something to give thanks? Yes, I have many things to be thankful for. This year in particular my thanks go to my parents, for their love, strength, honesty, dignity, values, their simplicity and smile, how they always put us kids in the first place and did everything possible and sometimes the impossible to help us to grow and thrive in this world.
They left us (3 kids, 4 grandkids, 2 grand grandkids) with many material treasures, but the most important of all are the memories which we will keep forever and hopefully pass through many generations.
Thank you for being here with me and I hope you have something to give thanks today!
It is a cloudy day, raining coming and going. Silence. I’m in the living room looking through the window, trying to find words, organizing my thoughts.
I baked a cake and read a few pages. My thoughts are coming and going as the rain. I don’t have stillness; I need someone, something.
I miss the years which went by so fast, I miss the opportunities I didn’t take, I miss the time I could have spent close to the people I loved, I miss the past. I got lost on the journey. I miss myself, the true-self who is masked by a pretense of being a daughter, wife, mother, employee …, many layers hiding myself.
Who am I when I’m disrobed of all the titles above?
The suitcases are long packed with memories. I’m waiting. The leather is as wrinkled as my skin. Scars of the time. I wait as the years turn into days, the days into hours and hours into minutes. The hurry from the youth stealing my balance, my breath going away. I wait for …
Hello everyone, long time since I showed up here. I thought it was time to catch up.
Spring and summer went by in a hurry. It feels like yesterday when the first blooms were starting to show up in my garden. I’m writing this post and looking at the yellow leaves on the ground. Yes, Autumn is coming with all the coziness and beautiful colours of the season.
I wish my creativity and inspiration get a booster as well. I haven’t done much in the last few months, all my projects were put on hold. It was like taking a break from myself and focusing on work and family. I miss my ‘me time’ and just realized I also miss myself.
Missing myself, it’s such an interesting feeling. I feel disconnected from my values, simplicity and joy. I didn’t journal, run, or go out with my camera in the summer. These are the stuff I’m missing; the time and the fun of doing something just for me.
I have been reading a lot, 36 books only this year, but it’s an intake of information. While reading I’m not producing anything, I’m not creating, or expressing myself.
Last weekend I went out, I left my cocoon and wandered around the neighbourhood with my camera. It was nice to connect to nature and with myself.
I hope you are doing well and enjoying the change of the seasons.
Introducing my 2024 journal. A fresh start for the new year with a new journal. This one is a gift from my husband. I love the cover and the pages are thick. I can use markers without staining the back side of the pages.
I always start the year with a new journal for my morning pages. It doesn’t matter how many blank pages I have left from the previous one. I love the feeling of opening it up the first thing in the morning, a new chapter begins.
Of course I have more than one journal going on at the same time. Each one with a different purpose.
2023 journals
Last year I used the blue one for morning pages, the tiny ones on the top for poetry, quotes and daily notes; and the magenta on the bottom for art pages, cards, photos … I’ll keep using some of them in 2024, they still have blank pages or I have bought new inserts for them.
I haven’t made any resolutions for this year, but I’m planning on lots of writing and creative projects. No pressure only going with the flow.
So I heard
She is old, not worth our time
The storm has broken some of her branches
So I heard
She still has bright leaves
Her shade is kind
So I heard
Birds and squirrels make their home in there
The kids have their swing on her branches
So I heard
The electrical cables will be damage
She can’t hold another storm
So I heard
She is hollow
No more flowers and fruits
So I decided
My aged and deformed hands
Will strongly ground to the Earth
I’ll show my power
And my will
I’ll survive the next storm
Recently, we had a heavy storm with tornados touching down near by. Many trees branches broken, and full trees came down destroying houses, cutting electrical cables …, lots of damage. A few days later the city workers came by and cut many trees, the damaged ones and also some healthy ones. This made me so upset. Now we see the left over from their trunks, some indeed were hollow inside, but others had a strong core. I don’t know much about trees’ health, but it should have a way to check if the tree is doing well or not before cut them off.
Tea & Paper 