renew

Today, I woke up and I wanted to write, do you know the urge to put down words on paper?

My thoughts were: could I start over again and remove all the weight of the past from my shoulders and walk through the sun? I didn’t want to sit and write in my journal as if it was a secret, but I wanted to write for the world, to let my feelings fly away.

RENEW who we are! Is it possible without erasing the past?

The past, mainly the mistakes, always knocks on the door of the present. I can feel a lightness after a yoga session, a few minutes of meditation, or a lovely vacation. I say: I’m ready for changes, to start over. But without any notice, those thoughts came back and put me down, like nothing has changed, I am the same as always.

Before you start to imagine which mistakes I’ve made, I let you know that I didn’t commit any crime against humanity. I’m talking about choices I made, words I said, or didn’t say, lack of self-respect and self-love, acts and actions that impacted mostly myself.

RENEW for RXC – Any word starting with RE.

25 thoughts on “renew

  1. Sweet Elizabeth, it’s hard to feel it sometimes but the past shapes who we are today. And you are a kind, thoughtful, creative woman. All those bits of lightness you feel – that feel fleeting? – just keep gathering them in your heart… those moments of lightness are always with you, tucked inside… each day, each moment, a chance to renew. You’re wonderful just as YOU are. xoxo

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    1. Thanks for the lovely words, Michelle! You are right, I need to give more space to lightness and creativity. If I keep practicing they will cover up the darkness that popups sometimes. And yes, each moment has a chance to renew. 🙂

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  2. I see our past as a worn out path that took us to where we are today. The things we learned become a part of who we are, but we get to choose what to keep. 💚

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  3. Yes, we carry around so much weight from “what should have been” thoughts. I agree with Reena’s comment that rewriting them is what’s needed, so that they feel lighter and lighter, until finally they just blow away in the smallest of breezes. Part of that process, I would say, involves a mental shift away from looking for changes or new starts, which lose their urgency when the present moment feels like a good place to be. So, I try to hold space for change without forcing it. 🙂

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    1. I also like rewriting history, as Reena said. It is an interesting way to release the weight of the past. Being present is another point I’m working on through meditation, and sometimes yoga.

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