It is a cloudy day, raining coming and going. Silence. I’m in the living room looking through the window, trying to find words, organizing my thoughts.
I baked a cake and read a few pages. My thoughts are coming and going as the rain. I don’t have stillness; I need someone, something.
I open my laptop, my blog, and jump to the reader. Sadje’s question pops up: Is anything missing from your life?
Myself!
I don’t have doubts, my answer is: I miss myself.
I miss the years which went by so fast, I miss the opportunities I didn’t take, I miss the time I could have spent close to the people I loved, I miss the past. I got lost on the journey. I miss myself, the true-self who is masked by a pretense of being a daughter, wife, mother, employee …, many layers hiding myself.
Who am I when I’m disrobed of all the titles above?
Discover more from Tea & Paper
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Tea & Paper 
Profound and life is like that. Who are you without all these names. You are the same Elizabeth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, I should be the same, but there is always the felling of not being whole.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes I completely agree with you Elizabeth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
So often we put other things and people before ourselves and lose our identity. For me, it was overwhelming and I went to pieces. But I had the chance to rebuild my life and I am content with who I am and what I have. It took time though. Listen to yourself Elizabeth and you will find your way.
LikeLike
You got it right, it is really about losing the identity. For sure I need to listen to myself. Glad you have found your way.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We care about other people, but have to ask who looks after the carer? Sometimes we have to put ourselves first. Take care Elizabeth.
LikeLiked by 1 person
It’s very moving Elizabeth- your honest feelings are quite relatable. Many feel that way when the busyness of life takes over. I hope you reconnect with your inner self. Thanks for sharing
LikeLike
Thanks, Sadje! Yes, the busyness and the lack of self-connection can be the cause of my feelings at the moment.
LikeLiked by 1 person
I think that it’s way too common a feeling in today’s society
LikeLiked by 1 person
we lose ourselves to these titles without even realising it … 🤍
LikeLike
For sure, thanks Destiny!
LikeLiked by 1 person
my pleasure 🤍
LikeLiked by 1 person
Life is always a work in progress, and we can’t separate ourselves from the parts we play in the world, but that is okay. If we had taken those missed opportunities, we’d still be wondering what else we could have done instead. When I have those feelings of wanting myself back, I look more closely at what self that would be, and there’s never a clear answer.
LikeLike
Agreed, Meg! Always the feeling of not being whole, wondering if the other path would be the better, but probably we would be at the same stage we are now, wondering.
LikeLike
You can’t be disrobed, you really are a mother, a wife and daughter, an employee. Who are you? You’re a multi-faceted human being made up of all the things that have gone before, and are still to come. Be proud! 😘
LikeLike
You made me smile, Jane! Your are right, I’m all of those, the experiences, the titles, they make me what I’m, but I feel there is something more to discover. Thanks!
LikeLiked by 1 person
Yes, more you!
LikeLiked by 1 person